Recently I went through a grieving process. That unfortunate time has come upon my 3.5 year old daughter. No more naps.
I wanted to cry.
Did any of you feel that way when your child stopped napping?
I’ve been denying it for months. I didn’t want to give up nap time for selfish reasons. In my mind, nap time is about ME. I need some time alone to relax and nap time usually gave me that. Taking nap time away from me is like taking a pacifier away from a baby. Not easy.
But there’s one key thing I’ve learned:
I used to think no naps = no me time. That’s actually not true. Keep reading and I’ll show you why.
I honestly thought she still needed a short nap in the afternoons. The problem is she’d take FOREVER to fall asleep at night. Every night the bedtime process was becoming more of a drama because she simply wasn’t tired enough to go to sleep. She’d use any tactic available to get out of bed. Then the hubby and I were forced to spend “our time” bringing her back to bed over and over again. We weren’t able to relax or have any time together.
So starting last week, we let go of nap time. {Sigh}
Here’s what we did:
At her old nap time I told her she didn’t have to take a nap. She was really excited about that! Instead I told her she’d get to have “special alone time”. During special alone time she can do whatever she wants as long as she can do the following:
Stay in her room until the timer goes off
Have fun
Be quiet
I set the timer for 45 minutes, suggested a couple toys and activities she could do, and closed the door. Since I’m a baby monitoraholic, I kept the camera on in her room so I could keep an eye on things.
Now before you get all excited thinking this is going to be an easy fix, think about this:
The afternoons will get worse before they get better. The first couple of afternoons were rough. At first she didn’t really know what to do and stayed really quiet. Physically she wasn’t used to this new change and was really tired and cranky in the late afternoons. And let’s face it–I was tired and cranky too!
But think of this change as an investment. Trust me–if it’s truly time to say goodbye to naps it will be worth the change. So if you’re in that spot, keep trying.
Here’s the great part: now things are MUCH better. For all of us. During my daughter’s “special alone time” I can count on a break (as long as her little brother sleeps!) and it’s wonderful! I have time to relax, blog, take a shower, whatever. I have me time again!!!
It’s also been great for my daughter. Since giving up naps she goes to sleep at night much faster. I’ve also noticed her pretending and creativity flourish. I’ve seen my mostly shy little girl start acting out all sorts of scenes and having fun by herself. I guess the time away from me is forcing her to entertain herself. Who knew?!?
Now the hubby and I have “our time” in the evenings back!
I no longer grieve the loss of nap time.
So–what was the process like for you? I’d love to hear your stories!
Shared on Happy Kids, Inc. Bloglovin’ Blog Hop
Oh, how I miss nap-time! My girl is 4-years-old and hasn’t taken naps for well over a year. But she still has to go in for “rest time” for half an hour after lunch. I think it’s more for me than it is for her!
I’m right there with you! I really miss it and am now dreading when that time comes for my son! Moms definitely need a break so I’m a huge fan of rest time, even if my daughter isn’t.
Thanks for linking up at my Bloglovin’ blog hop. Now following you via twitter and Bloglovin,. Do you have a following via Google Friends Connect?
Thanks so much for the support, Meg! I’m a really new blogger so I’m still learning the ropes. I’m not on Google Friends Connect or bloglovin’ (should I be?) but I am on facebook and twitter. I’ll be following you too!
When my now-four-year-old stopped napping just after her third birthday, I was upset at first, for the same reasons as you. But now we have “quiet time” after lunch. I put down the two year old for a nap, get my four year old settled for “quiet time” and then I’m able to read, nap, or do whatever I want until the two year old wakes up, which signals the end of our daily “quiet time”. It took a week or two of adjustment but now it works great!
I love quiet time! Yes we’re still in the adjustment period but it’s really becoming a time that we all look forward to!
Isaiah stopped his naps around 2 – it was awful! At first I did the room thing and made him stay in there, he hollared and yelled and i yelled back and it didn’t work at all! It took a while before i let go and let him play out with me then eventually guided him back into playing in his room during that time. At 2 it was hard and he didn’t quite know what to do. Once i let go it was much better, no more of us fighting over nap or quiet time.
I, too, mourned when Julia stopped taking naps. I think it was upsetting for several reasons. I relished the time to myself; it was another sign that my baby was a baby no longer ; but also because the time a baby is sleeping in a house is somehow sweet and magical – everything is hushed and calm. I don’t remember how we adjusted to the new napless schedule, but we did. The epilogue to my story is that I still cherish those rare occasions when my 20 year old is visiting home and falls asleep. The magic and peace returns . I will peek at her sleeping face, which somehow, when sleeping, hasn’t changed a bit from the napping days.
There’s nothing more beautiful than a sleeping baby–even when that baby is all grown up! I know I’m going to be just like you peeking in at my grown children sleeping and smiling 🙂