My Latest Struggle

I can’t believe it. My son is going to be one next week. Where did this last year go?

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what I was doing this time last year an it’s bringing up a lot of bittersweet feelings. Sweet remembering snuggles with my baby boy. Sweet remembering how God came and intervened. Bitter knowing that the moments with my little baby are soon going to change.

One year ago I was super pregnant with my second child.

Like there’s-a-torpedo-sticking-out-of-my-belly pregnant.

Here’s the picture to prove it.

We never expected this pregnancy to make it this far.

Six weeks before my due date I went into the hospital with preterm contractions. {During my first pregnancy, my daughter was born 4.5 weeks early, so my history of preterm labor was a big concern} After many attempts to stop the contractions the doctor resorted to giving me magnesium. The side effects of this drug are major and because of that I had to stay in the hospital all weekend to be monitored.

We prayed like crazy that God would help keep my son from being born too early. I was given a couple of shots to help boost his lung growth in case we weren’t able to stop the labor. I remember praying specifically for his lung development but preparing for the reality that he could be born any time. If he was born at that point he’d probably go into the NICU {Neonatal Intensive Care Unit} and be hooked up to all sorts of tubes and machines.  Talk about a rough beginning!

Thankfully the magnesium worked and the contractions stopped. I’m so thankful God intervened and helped keep my son from being born prematurely. That was one of the big points in my life where God stepped in when we really needed Him.

So after all that effort to stop labor, and tons of prayer, I thankfully made it to full term.

My son was born one day before my due date as a totally healthy, full term baby!

Now on to the bitter part…

My latest struggle is dealing with the fact that my baby will not really be a baby anymore. On one hand I’m ready to leave the sleepless nights, nursing, spit up, and teething behind. But leaving those things behind means saying goodbye to the sweet baby stages. Like when I put him to bed he’ll lay his head on my shoulder and suck his thumb. It’s the sweetest thing in the world.

I’m not ready for my baby to turn one.  I feel like I can’t officially call him my baby after he’s a year old. Since he’s probably going to be our last child, that makes it much more bittersweet.

I know that the next stage with my son will be exciting as he grows and learns to do more things.  I’ll find new things to be excited about but for now I’m just going to have to soak in as much baby time as I can.

What did you do to help ease out of the baby stage?